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Archive for the ‘Week 4’ Category

Riders 74 ‘Lics 16

Are you afraid of what you’re seeing? Does the fact that the Riders might not have a weakness send shivers down your spine? Shhh. The Gza did it again, somehow sitting down Larry Johnson and STILL getting two TDs out of Edge James. Coach Rider, whoever he may be for whatever week you are facing him, has the entire ‘Nawlins passing attack and a ground game that makes you feel as if you are listening to Iron Maiden for the first time wihtout the knowledge of who they really are. Disgusting. That is what you are covered in after you face up agains the Mighty Rider, who at this point, is far and away the best team in fantasy this year. 74 points people, that’s the second most EVA! Why am I not talking about the ‘Lics? Because they are covered in so much of their own shame the wolf dog is refusing to curl up next to them for he is living  off of old 49er milk left in the bucket from the glory days. Last century buddy, wake up to your pain.

Wolf dog you pound go

The ‘Lics have holes like sweater old

league whore are you now!

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Krons 35 X 26

The Krons seem to have a little fairy dust in their oil painted bags they carry around their Renaissance fair of a season. Once again, the stopped who they needed to stop and got nice days out of their backfield. Are they for real? Is anything real? Fantasy is, right Jerry. J – Jerry, are you still there, because it looks like you might be headed for the bottom of the wishing well and these days, these days Jerry, there are only pennies dropping down to save you. How will you afford your drying cleaning bill? How could you allow the Krons to dance around the maypole on you like that? Did that hurt? We know it did. XO Jerry, XO indeed. Krons, we are watching you now. If the Christian can come back to full Strength and Clinton the Forgotten one is really back, The Krons will have a dangerous team come playoff time. They don’t care if you boo, they don’t even care if you care. T.O., Steve Smith, Peyton Manning, Stephen Jackson, Clinton and the ‘Quon are here to play. And they don’t play, when the play. Krons, you’re on the Radar.

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Pals 43 Ubermen 28

If the Pals lost this game, they would be doomed to dance with their Raider Trash for the rest of the season and look toward the goings on beneath their fire escape instead of to the Football gods on Sunday. Instead, they reached down to their taxi of Baby Pals and called on John Stewart to come to the rescue. He and Earnest Garaham looked into the barrel of the Uber tanks and found that there was, well, nothing to be found. The Ubes came up short in a game that could have set them apart. Rivalry games are always tough, but you need to be tough to believe in the power of fantasy, don’t you Ubes? The Pals look strong this year and are even coming out of September even up. These guys usually come on at the end of the year, so be careful not to let the ponies run too wild. Are they a play off team? I think so. Jay Cutler and Tony Romo are battling for TV time, so if the coach can make the right choices, which might prove difficult, these Pals could go deep. The Ubes, well, everyone has their off days, but we’ll see now if they can come back. Those receivers look a little gimpy to make it through a tough winter drive. Will the Ubes sink under .500 this week or will maid Marion come to the rescue again? Freddy Jackson is haunting this team. The Pals are alive and well, so be careful of the happy horse when you roll through Harlem in the Winter time whistling tunes of Duke Ellington under the lamposts.

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Rooks 38 Bugs 35

Look, out there, over the walls of a castle that is flying the flag of victory. Can you see the strobe flickering? Beyond that, just to the left, you can see the poles. Each win for the Rooks this year puts up another stripper pole with a flag waving and a woman sliding down a recently greased up piece of Silver. This is a party year for the Rooks – a celebration of making the right calls at the right moments. Sending down Rashard Medenhall and reaching into the Police Academy to bring up Tim Hightower reeks of brain activity. Did we forget something? Who is that at the castle gate with a bible in his hand and a bag full of courage? Why, it’s Ol’ Kurt Warner. Sorry Kurt, no matter what you did, there was no way to stop the mojo of a Rooks squad motivated to stay in the race. The Schwartz knows that even while he is writing this, the Bugs are looking for extra points to make sense, but there is none to be had. Magahee looks almost done, and if that’s the case, the Bugs don’t have a chance. So down the poles the Rooks celebration comes. Well done sir.

Bug Child – Mr. Bug, how –

Mr. Bug: Not this week Child, just leave me alone.

Someone is angry and we know who it is. Perhaps Sarah Palin can help them understand how to put a team together. We don’t like it Bugs, no.

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