Archive for the ‘Week 3’ Category

Ubermen 50 Rooks 29

You could pretty much look back on the last 3 years of articles The Schwartz has written on the Ubermen and seen the same thing: powerful backfield and gutsy receivers. Only thing was that come December, those backs would wear down like a investment banker on Wall Street looking for his soul at the local Dry Cleaners: Not to be found. This year, those backs look a little different. What looks the same is the puzzled looks on the Rooks faces: “Uh, wait, I paid big for 2 QBs and it’s not working out for me this time?” Rooks, you kicked the football again. Still, I had my visions, so perhaps you will see through the embers the Ubermen left your castle in and walk towards the menorah. Marshawn Lynch and Marion Barber are bad, bad men. If Mr. Rogers is for real, then the Ubes will be holding hardware in December. They are the clear cut favorite at this point. The Rooks MUST win next week to have any hopes of not providing Schwartz yum yums  for the Press. The Ubes roll away satisfied and focused for the next week. The chants you hear through the woods are not ghosts – no – those are for they who have passed. These are echoes from the now. Frightening.


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Riders 48 Krons 20

The Schwartz was listening in on the Krons phone conversation this week prior to his game vs. the Riders. The words “We’re going to be beat his ass” were heard in reference to their upcoming match-up. Krons, once again, you loved yourself as only you could: Too Much. The Riders took their team in back of the sun baked bricks of forgotten Hollywood and injected them each with a hot shot of Whiskey and Egg Yolk with instructions to: Bring Me The Head of the Kron. The lopped off golden locks was made lighter by the tears shed by the vanquished self lover and tossed out to the Rider faithful who cheered on as if the Hills of the north were the same as the steps of Old Mayan Temples. Roll vanquished Roll! The Riders answered up big time with heart and power. Not even Jesus has that kind of pull anymore. Willie Parker looks worth that dime right about now, don’t he lip flapper? The Riders are staying quiet which is not a good sign my people. Not a good sign at all, for we know, it is better to be quiet and thought a fool that to open your Kron Mouth and remove all doubt. We like it Rider Meat Wagon!

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‘Lics 50 X 47


Gut Check Game for the ‘Lics and these guys have shown that they can come through and ride the Wolf Dog through the full moon glow of Western Boulevard with enough steam left over to take a lap or two around the taco truck. Jerry was left kicking empty cans and searching for a camera, but the press had turned their attention to the upstart ‘Lics who continue to ride their Bay Area Revival through Fantasy Land. Joe Joe and Uncle Franky did what they needed to do and more, making sure that there was only one game of separation between all the teams in the league this year. Jerry does not like to drop close games as it takes away from his manicure time. French Tips don’t catch footballs Jerry. So to the top of the Hollywood sign for an out of the graveyard howl come the ‘Lics, looking to even up the season next week. Even is better than dead.


Wolf Dog your fur strong

Eat the treats in bowls of Jerry

You took his jacket

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Bugs 44 Pals 37


The question needs to be asked – If you are enjoying a 20 point lead in fantasyland and you get up, look out an smile at the day that is unfolding, what would happen to that person’s face when they turn to the computer screen and see a little 76 yard combo from Kurt Warner to Fitz? Just ask the Pals, who’s tears started the fall season for the East Coast. The Bugs, facing a game time decision on Yo Adrian decided to bench the money back and bring in Willis Magahee, the ultimate Bug. The Raven’s score plus the emergence of Reggie Bush took the Bugs to a big early season win, bringing them to 2-1 one, which makes for a much better commute to work on a sunny Diego drive than a 1-2 start on the D train downtown does. Doesn’t it? The Pals running game is nowhere to be found – unless you are planning on looking towards the bottom of the league. Again. The Bugs continue to shine and show that they are deep enough at RB to make a big run this year, as long as Warner holds up. Right now, Kurt Warner might be the MVP of the league.


Bug Child: Mr. Bug, you had him all along, didn’t you? Didn’t you.

Mr. Bug: I would not say that young Bug.

Bug Child: What would you say then?

Mr. Bug: I wouldn’t say anything.

Bug Child: Why not?

Mr. Bug: Because I won.

Bug Child: I see.

Mr. Bug: You are starting to.

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