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Archive for the ‘Week 2’ Category

Krons Tease Rooks

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Krons 70 Rooks 51

Oh Krony Boy, the pipes are calling you. The Rooks once again made the perfect coaching, but it was the Krons who looked like they had written bibles in times of yore with an old fashioned heart pull out of the Rook Buffalo hunter. Tasty. While they looked for glory from Mr. Westbrook on a cool Monday Night in Dallas, it was the Krons who finally got some lovin’ from little Clinton Portis. That, and some miracle contract negotiation catches from Anquan Boldwin, who will from this point forward be known in Schwart lore as simple, The Quan, streaked through the green fields of Miami like a Rocket that never learned how to land. My friends, Steven Smith is coming back next week, so one has to wonder how the Krons will go about deciding on Mr. Smith, The Quan or Popcorn each week. For the Rooks, they made the right calls, but didn’t have enough coverage in their calling plan to pull off the win. The Schwartz still stands by his Calamari hazed word that the Rooks are the team to beat, though after the game, we saw a yellow T-Shirt with a zig zag stripe left on the floor of the locker room. The Krons are 2-0, and though they have no honor, they have quite a team. You are a true Raider Kron.

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Ubes Take Riders to School

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Ubes 40 Riders 13

You thought maybe there was a hole in the armor of the Ubermnen. Derek Anderson was not wearing the uniform right. Of course, there was the usual uberbackfield that would come through, but who would lead them through the air. Where would the cover come from? Taking off the glasses and revealing a true mustache soaked in years of Green Bay ‘Worst drippings comes Aaron Rogers, the man who will lead the Ubes through their return to glory. The Riders? LT? LJ? Na Uh. Sorry Ride, you might very well be checking out college footall games and thinking you’re scouting but all you are really doing, really, is looking to have hope on Saturday because Sundays will be filled with sad eyes and silent songs to yourself. Marion Barber added the golden spike on Monday night as the hammer dropped on the reality bell for the Super Bowl Runner Up. It must have been hard rooting against the Steelers on Sunday night clean lip. Satan has a place on the discount rack for those who well their souls. Those Ubes are bruisers, and if they can stay upright until December, it may be a march to remember.

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Pals 66 ‘Lics 40

 

That sound you just hear was the final lunch box being put down on the docks after a hard fought school yard brawl that started out at the flag pole and spilled out into the Mid September streets that had yet to cool down from a blistering summer. The Pals unleashed a furious Air Attack at the ‘Lics who looked to be done for. However, the Stumbling One’s from Just West of Western mounted a comeback with their Hurricane Relief Fund Niners, but it was not to be. The Pals reached into the Tampa Bay Orange and pulled out a big burst, sending the ‘Lics to kneel down and pray to the Sunday Night Gods for a Braylon Edwards Miracle. The Schwartz would have liked it to come from the Dog Pound, but alas, ‘twas not to be. Just off the McCombs bridge that sprawls over the Harlem river, the Pals looked to the full moon and enjoy the silence that comes with crushing the dreams of the one you have vaniquished.

 

Wolf Dog turn your tail

Fireflies do not last long – dim

Your water dish is dry.

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Bugs School Jerry’s Kids

Bugs 39 X 31 

It was all about Monday Night as the Champs tried their best to bend the dim lights of the real world by bringing about yet another comeback, but in the end, the exploits of Old Man Warner were too much for Jerry, and the Bugs got into the win column with a big early season victory. It was that defense out of Chicago doing X dirty as the Bugs finally took away what made this X team special during their remarkable run. For The Bugs, the shores of San Diego were untouched by Hurricane Ike this week and the golden sandals this Southern Southern Cali team sports after winning big games were brought out of the VW van that had seen so many road trips and ran over so many hippies. Bug guy check win for the New Zoo Review Bug Curfew imposing crew. Did they build a team around Yo Adrain and does it look a little like that X team from last year?

Bug Child:  Mr. Bug, what are you holding in your hand?

Mr. Bug: It’s called a mirror Bug Child. 

Bug Child: Do you use that to play football with? I don’t understand.

Mr. Bug: I used it to show Jerry his team, then, see what he is looking at and take it from him.

Bug Child: I understand.

Mr. Bug: No – no you don’t.

Bug Child: No I don’t.

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