Archive for the ‘Week 12’ Category

Bugs 38 Krons 38


The Bugs were pulling out of the parking lot about to go up to Inspiration Point when Don Driver jumped out on the middle of the road and starting Singing “Pump Pump Goes Your Blood” and never stopped until the final whistle blew on a hot night in ‘Nawlins. The Krons scratched out yet another Monday Night Miracle and let the Bugs know that they weren’t so little after all. Clinton Portis is THE MAN. The Shwartz tips his Fedora to you for having faith in THAT ONE. Bugs, your team, even when it does not fire all the way, still has enough MASH to write history as you wish it to be. The path to the title is still yours, but paths have a way of winding their own way. We were wrong about you and We know you like that. You’re smiling, but the Krons took away your laughter and took destiny for a late night Malt at the Old Arnold’s while Patsi Danced with your girl then let you drive her home to the Cunninghams. Beware the waitress on the Roller Skates – she may not be as she seems. Who is? These two could very well meet one more time for a Lea Championship Dance Under the Sea.

Bug Child: You did Not Win.

Mr. Bug: No.

Bug Child: You did not Loose.

Mr. Bug: No.

Bug Child: What happened?

Mr. Bug: Nothing.

Bug Child: Is that OK

Mr. Bug: What do you think?

Bug Child: I don’t know.

Mr. Bug: No you don’t.


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Riders 51 Pals 29


Down by the Pool, in the Hot Miami Sun, the Riders jumped into their Way Back machine and embodied Joe Namath for their fantasy this week – and not only pulled it off, but positioned themselves for yet another post season run, showing once again that you can live your fantasy in your reality despite what the real world tells you to do. Pals, you should not be allowed near a draft again after not only wasting Tony Romo at home against the Niners, but betting against your real world team and coming up with 0 points from your Pony Orange Lush Losers while Darren McFadden dropped in TWO. You got none of him and now he will cause you pain like what you felt looking for a victory then carrying over into the lonely night of fantasy humiliation. Riders, the floor is yours and I doubt very much that anyone will want to follow you after your victory party. All points coming from their Defense, QB and Kicker – Only the Riders. Pals, how did it feel watching Joe March down Broadway with a tan and a nice drink while you stood their shivering in regret? We all know how you feel, because our laughter kept you warm. Riders, way to sack up when you needed it.

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Ubes 34 ‘Lics 21


Who are the ‘Lics to talk smack to any of the 7 other REAL fantasy owners out there? London Broiled, you are like an expansion franchise mascot who bought a San Diego Chicken outfit at a Salvation Army store only to find out it was the Roadhouse Rooster for a defunct XFL team. Go away and redefine yourself – you are not even in the book. Ubermen, that was a gut check win and a refusal to die in the stretch run. Aaron Rogers and the Philly D did their part in ensuring victory, despite the fact that Trent Edwards continues to haunt the German Squad. Overcoming mistakes in your fantasy life is a way to make your reality all the sweater, and this week, this week Ubermen, you live again. Win out and those tanks may rumble sweet in December. Heart is what it’s all about ‘Lics, but you may only being seeing the reflection of the Tin Man who starts the Niner D over the Wire in a rivalry game. Ubes, do you have enough to bring home some bacon in a bear market? Well, this week their was enough dog meat on the field to fuel the army. Chutzpa point ala tu.

Wolf Dog Disgrace Follows

London Calling Nobody

Fleas. Tics. Scratch. Clawless.

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X 58 Rooks 36


The economy falling into a downward spiral meant nothing to Jerry, as he walked into the Plaza and put down his savings for a lavish weekend for himself and the belt. Oysters, Cigars and a live feed of the Rooks devastation were all ordered in triplicate as X threw a bash for themselves and did it in style. There are those weeks when each update is for you – when each little move of the helmet across the screen is a result in glory. This was double plus good for Jerry as he just kept tossing dollars out to his fans, giving them a treat for staying out the season for him. Rooks, well, there was nothing to be done about something like this. Everyone gets done at point in the season, and your time was now. The Schwartz would like to have seen more of a fight from you and the pole dancers, but the cold of winter and the rise of oil bills to pay off the collectors who come a knockin’ on those castle walls was just too much to handle. Sack up Rooks and run the table or it’s another year of being the rabbit in the Warner Brother’s Cartoon version of the Fable. Jerry, you’re playing out the string like a champ, leaving no point uneaten. Guts you have. Class, you have. A miracle? Let’s see what you can do about such things. This week, the Schwartz will flip the bill for the dry cleaning – call it an early Chanuka present for ‘Ol Irv. Rooks, remember, the key is doing what you would not do.

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