Archive for the ‘The Playoffs’ Category

BWMFL Post Season


What an amazing end to the regular season. The Ubes got back the goal line score they lost in Gettysburg with a DaShea Townsend score that put them into the Offs. Winning 2 0f their last 3 games and eating the blood oozing from Leg De Plax was enough to get them stumbling in past the Rider and Rook Squads who could not get the win, place or show in their horse race away from the glue factory.  Doesn’t matter how you get your ticket to the big dance, so long as you’re there while the music is still playing loud enough to make a wallflowers bloom. The Riders didn’t break 20 against an X team that felt no need to call in a line up for the last week of the season and STILL couldn’t get a Helen Keller tutor to extend their season.

The Rooks? Well, they just couldn’t keep out of their own way. Sitting Brian Westbrook for two weeks straight in games they HAD to have makes no sense – but then again, this is Rooks Management who orchestrated a collapse that we here in fantasy land have no Bailout for. Rooks, I had to take a second mortgage out on the Glass Star to pay off my gambling debt. But this is not the time to talk of those who are no longer in the mix. It is time for the true season, the playoffs to begin. Let’s take a look, shall we?


Is there a better coach in the history of fantasy football? Mr. Bug would like nothing better than to solidify himself in fantasy lore with a second ring and a victory lap around the league. The match-ups look nice for the Bugged one to come out and bring pain. The Children of the world have gotten their bowls of Count Chocula cereal from the charity fund and  are lined up in front of their plasmas waiting in anticipation for a victory party. Kurt Warner leads an amazing team out onto the field each week, and the playoffs should feature much of the same. These guys are the George Forman’s in his prime of the league, and with the world picking up Bug Fever, it should be a great season for the favorites to take home the belt. However, being the favorite doesn’t always mean that you’re going to take home the Easter Basket. After all, Bunnies have a hard time holding on in the snow. Does it snow in San Diego? No. Is this one of the greatest teams of all time? Let’s see. And we will.

#2 The Krons

You know the drill right? Always the brides maid, never on the honeymoon unless they paid their own ticket and looked in through the window at what happens at the party. The Krons have been beasts all year and have shown heart, talent and the ability to make the right calls. All of the may pole dancers are asking for PT, but there are only so many slots, so we’ll see how they do making the calls. This man has made sweet music all year long, so he must MUST attempt to stay away from spending too much time at the discount rack looking for that one Sheila E. EP with the extended Drum solo. Just because it’s dope doesn’t mean you need to have it. Still, we like the young Krons chance to go after the belt and figure him to be playing for the big piece of Christmas Goose. 

#3 The Pals

The Pals come stammering in Drunk and injured, but they have a punchers chance. One has to wonder how those sub freezing streets of Harlem are treating the man this late in the game? The whole thing feeds off of Chris Johnson, and these top teams don’t scare easily. Can the Pals get their 3rd championship? The Schwartz says no and Vegas doensn’t answer my calls, but who cares what they think? The Pals have knocked the Krons out twice in the post season so you know they are going to face a foe who isn’t afraid to Jerry Curl out his blond locks in the Diego Sun to make the field a little slippery. The Pals are the wild card for sure, but have been solid all season. Any slippage might cause heart break. The Pal Pen is full of the crazies sleeping in tents, all holding up their piece of aluminum to get a clear radio station signal for the big game. Good show Pals, now let’s see if you can bring it to Turner Movie Classics for the residuals. 

#4 The Ubes

Germans don’t speak English, but they invented it and will remind you of that fact each time they enter the room. Survival is all it takes and now they are here praying, willing, that Aaron Rogers and Matt Forte can prove one and for all that the NFC Central is the real deal. We see you Ubes, we know where you like to shop. Going against the Bugs for the second time in row will be tough, but the Ubes fear nobody – NOBDOY, and have made the Offs again, refusing to draw associations with any of the dregs of the lower class fantasy dwellers. Don’t ask me no questions and I won’t tell you how I got here. Blood, guts, and a Stealer miracle to rip the face off the Riders was what it took and they got it. Now, how much diesel is left in the tank? Is there a secret weapon we don’t know about? Are the phone lines in Buffalo still working? No matter, the battle cries will be loud enough to reach the troops. Team Chutzpa Lives!


It’s the second season. The one of Champions. Let’s see what is WHAT!

Irv’s Ready, are you?


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