Archive for the ‘Announcements’ Category

Hurricane Ike has played havoc with the schedule. 

However, as was the case in the Nerds game a few years back when a Natural disaster changed the schedule, the ruling was that it was up to the owner to keep track of when the game is going to be played. 

The latest news is that the NFL is going to reschedule the Ravens V. Houston Game.

Owners with players involved should keep track of these events.

There should be a real world update this evening. If the game is played later in the week, then those results will count towards week two. 



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By Irving Schwartz

Change, the very thing that makes the world spin fast enough to keep us from falling into the universe, is again upon us. The World Champion X has named the league after Brett Wagner, a friend of his in the real world who lost his life this past year. In a show of class, X has decided to honor the fallen by naming the league after him. So for the 8 of you out there fighting for the belt this year, you will be looking to be the champion of the Brett Wagner Memorial Fantasy Football League.

A moment of silence for reality.

Now, raise your voices, get your mags ready, and let’s get on with some fantasy. You may have noticed a few changes to the website this year. We have switched to this format as it gives us a chance to archive easier – us being all of the people inside the head of Schwartz.

A journalist must keep up with the times – and the Schwartz has equipped the glass star with a new communications system provided by a grants from the Underwater Jewish Educational Workshop (U JEW). This means that you can receive email notifications when the site is updated, as well as being able to subscribe to an RSS feed, which will send text messages to your cell phone.

Indeed, the technical difficulties we experienced at the end of last year will not plague us this year, so look for pictures, videos and audio clips to accompany stories this year.

Now, down to business. The date of the draft is Sunday, August 31st at 10:00 A.M. PST. Please try to be on time as members of the league have various commitments and travel necessities.

Keep in mind that you will all be chasing Jerry Rice and his smoking jacket for the belt this year. The Schwartz has had his cameras in training camps of each of the 8 teams this year. Here are 8 Questions I have been asking the fish who share the ocean floor with me in my Floating Glass Star of David.

1. Can X and Jerry reach into their grab bag again and pull out a pocket full of miracles?
2. Will the Riders fool everyone enough to think he doesn’t know what he’s doing?
3. Will the Ubes be able to keep their team healthy to finally get that second belt?
4. Will the Pals return from last place and not be the laughing stock of the league?
5. Will the Krons ever be able to look the Lics in the eye again?
6. Will the Rooks provide the Schwartz with more humor this year.
7. Can the Lics and the Wolf Dog run in the moonlight again?
8. Do the Bugs think they are as smart was we know they are not?

Ah, the heat is starting to subside and the leaves, where there are leaves still growing, as hanging on to their last gasp of green. The crinkle of age signals that the season we have all been waiting for is hear. The caves have been left and the great migration to fantasy land is nearly complete.

The Season is here.

Good luck on draft day gentlemen.

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